2.28.2002
yes yes I am a geek:
Shamelessly stolen (how could I not?) from William's site.
I Am A: Neutral Good Elf Bard Mage
Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.
Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently conccern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.
Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.
Secondary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.
Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)
9:28 AM | link | up| archives |
2.27.2002
when I have to deal
with hard emotions, I write. This was written during one of those times, nearly two weeks ago.
24
The sum of these events is a string
of sadness. I was always a wreck when
it came to numbers, needing fleshy
fingers and hot sandy toes to calculate
the dividing factors.
I never really believed in zero.
I felt instead the infinite rush of wild integers
that pressed us all forward. I was blind
to the roundness of that place
that begins when the heart stops.
You never were and over and over you
explained the equation, as if to a child.
It's only now that I find the truth of it all--I was a
child, naive to the pain and heartbreak
that happens when the numbers
simply dissolve and become finite.
c.2002 clk
2:23 PM | link | up| archives |
2.25.2002
i love technology
Canterbury Has a Tale to Tell Online
Mon Feb 25, 9:09 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Fancy a night in with the original wife of Bath?
The first edition of Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales," worth $6.5 million, has been hauled from the British Library vaults to be digitized and put online. Technicians sporting satellite-strength cameras began photographing the rare 15th century tome in a windowless room in London Monday. Their 1,300 high-resolution images will then be put on the Internet. The British Library has already digitized two copies of the Gutenberg bible, printed in 1455 and available on the Internet at http://prodigi.bl.uk/gutenbg/default.asp. Kristian Jensen, head of Western European Printed Collections, said the Gutenberg site received one million hits in its first six months. "That's the beauty of digitization," he said.
Oooo I can't wait!!!
2:11 PM | link | up| archives |
2.23.2002
the happiest
movie I have seen in years is Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain. In America it's billed simply as Amelie. It's not mushy, it's not a girl movie, it's just plain HAPPY and emotionally uplifting. Funny, charming, witty. By the director of City of Lost Children and Delicatessen, but with none of the dark overtones of those movies. Instead, it was just a lush, gorgeous cinematic event. A MUST BUY on DVD movie--I can't wait to see it again. Audréy Tautou is such a beautiful and talented actress. I seriously hope she wins actress of the year awards. She was perfect. This movie, was downright perfect. I can't even think about any other movie I have seen in the last ten years that I can say that about.
4:37 PM | link | up| archives |
2.22.2002
food as a sport?
Glutton Bowl made me literally ill last night. Blech. And then come to find out, there is actually an International Federation for Competitive Eating . I'm sorry, but this is just plain WRONG. When the world looks on in awe at gluttony and reveres it as a sport, something just isn't quite right. I'm just glad that I missed the bowls of mayo. I flipped it on during the 15 feet of sushi (with 1 foot sections of wasabi) and then was able to see the finale--rocky mountain oysters and cow brain eating. Joe of course started joking about them contracting Kuru as a result.
10:33 AM | link | up| archives |
2.21.2002
and so I suppose
it's time for a more general Crystal update. I haven't been posting as often the last week or so, as you might have noticed. I had some not-very-welcome news that came last week and I have found that I haven't really been able to connect with my writing side lately as a result. Oddly, the desire to do so has increased. No, I'm not sharing the news here, sometimes public blogs just aren't the place for that, but suffice to say that my world flipped upside down in a way and my perspective on a lot of things has changed. I find myself full of angst, a terrible odd fear that is lying inside me and I'm full of a worry that I'm not so sure I like being full of. I tried to explain this to Joe last night, but I think he just thinks my "wrong feelings" are me being paranoid or something. He's supportive but can't connect to it.
I suppose it could be a variety of things that contribute to this unrest. The news last week, combined with a bizarre, disconcerting trickle down effect that I've been coming in contact with as a result (kind of like you are interested in buying a new car and suddenly everywhere you look there is that car or people you know are talking about or bought that car). What I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling that news intensely because everywhere I turn there is more of it or the hint of it ahead. I know I'm being cryptic, but you'll just have to deal with that.
Then there are the neighbors. On Amy's site, I talked about them--reposting those points with updates and edits:
1. I called the landlady to see how many people were living there. She says one, a 27 year old man who works during the day. I am positive there are at least 2-3 people permanently there.
2. No name on the mailbox after 4 weeks.
3. People coming and going at all hours of the day. The landlady says that the "nice young gentleman" works during the day and shouldn't be home.
4. Every hour or so, someone opens the door and sprays air freshener in the hallways.
5. The kid that banged on the door that night is always there, but he calls on his cellphone now for them to come downstairs and get them. The other night he was there again, this time calling over and over on the phone (you can hear it ringing), ringing the doorbell once every half hour until they arrived (thankfully, only about an hour and a half later).
6. When the guy that supposedly lives there leaves the house, he always has a hood or hat on (and is often dressed head to toe in white). Yesterday I was looking out the window and he was taking out the trash he was very careful to pull the hood forward as though he didn't want the people living in our house to actually see his face...he did this on each respective side as he passed in front of the house on the way to and back from the cans. We barely know what he looks like.
7. The phone rings incessantly up there and they only answer it about 30% of the time, even though there is always someone home.
8. I honestly think that the apartment has NEVER been unoccupied at any given time since they all showed up. Someone is always there.
9. When they are going in the hallways, the main guy is always SHUSHing them not to talk at all (even though they sound like elephants going up and down the stairs). It's more like he doesn't want anyone to hear what they are talking about rather than them being considerate.
10. An older Italian man in a brand new green mercedes sedan has been showing up daily. He never comes in, he calls on his cell then the guy goes downstairs to talk to him. Only the other day in the rain did the guy come in--to the foyer only--where they talked in very hushed voices. I saw them talking at his car two days ago and the older man (who bears NO resemblence to the kid--definitely not his father) passed money to him.
So needless to say it's looking very shifty and shady. I don't want to really hassle the landlady too much because she's the kind of lady that would call and say "the neighbors say that you have more than one person living there and that you are loud, etc" and then that puts us into something strange. It's very distressing--I've lived there for five years with mostly perfect neighbors and now I feel extremely uncomfortable and just plain wrong being there. Joe says I'm obsessing about it but you know, it's hard not to when they are literally running up and down the stairs 15-20 times in the evenings when I'm home--and often alone while Joe is at work. I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable. We're looking at the prospect of moving but money is so tight. I honestly don't care what my neighbors do but you know, it directly impacts us if something were to happen--say a raid or something like that. And well, if it's mob-related, I've known too many people who have connections and I've heard the disconcerting stories about how things are dealt with. I just want nothing to do with it. I want a house in the country, with Joe and me and the kitty.
So I guess that means I still need a real job. Oh yeah, that.
I am trying not to think about my taxes, but I will have to send them to Mike soon. They literally scare me to death. My friend Josh, who is a realtor and will help us figure out the new place when we are ready, mentioned that I should get a copy of my credit report. I could feel my heart start to pound and my tummy churning. My fear of money is far worse than my fear of numbers, my fear of bugs, etc. Irrational, but well, thank my father for giving that to me. I deal with it by pushing it away--and yes, I know, the more I push it away, the worse it gets.
GAH! Lots of angst here, as I said. But it's not all bad. I've started up yoga again and a friend got me interested in Pilates and I'm excited about that. Joe is still the best boyfriend on the planet. I have good friends who care about me. And all this crap is just that--crap--and it's temporary.
ok, rant done.
3:10 PM | link | up| archives |
2.19.2002
speaking of time
I saw this on a message board I frequent:
"As the clock ticks over from 8:01 p.m. on Wednesday, February 20, 2002, time will (for sixty seconds only) read in perfect symmetry. To be more precise: 20:02, 20/02, 2002. It is an event which has only ever happened once before, and is something which will never be repeated. The last occasion that time read in such symmetrical pattern was long before the days of the digital watch (or the 24-hour clock): 10:01 AM on January 10, 1001. And because the clock only goes up to 23:59, it is something that will never happen again."
1:50 PM | link | up| archives |
2.18.2002
i don't normally go in for
cheesy sentimental emails and the like, but this one is rather poignant in light of some things that have happened in my life recently. The amazing part about it is that I totally understand the math portion of this equation. *grin*
TIME
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,000. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a pre-mature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!
3:17 PM | link | up| archives |
2.15.2002
i asked, Amy answers
Amy of watch what happens answered questions that I put to her as part of this month's participation in Blogger Insider. Check her site soon for the answers to the questions she asked me!
Crystal: I'm a fellow Bostonian. What's your Boston story...how you came to be here, what you think of it, and what you think the most annoying trait that Bostonians seem to possess is.
Amy: I came here right after college to go to grad school at the New England Conservatory of Music. I'm from Ohio and always wanted to ultimately be on a coast, so here I am. New England is beautiful, the city is manageable, and there's so much history. As for annoying traits, I find New Englanders to be somewhat distant and cold (there's a HUGE difference between here and the midwest) and I really can't stand that accent--ick. Just SAY THE "R"!
2. I'm a pepper hater too, actually, but can tolerate celery. Are there other quirky food habits that make you stand out to your friends? For example, my friends can't understand why I hate tomatoes in my food but like ketchup and tomato sauce (it's all about texture).
That I'm a reluctant meat-eater. I like some meats but don't really like eating them. If I can find a meat substitute that I like as well, I chose that. So if we go somewhere where there's pork or lamb or anything more exotic, I try to avoid it.
3. If you had to name your favorite (physical) place in the entire world, where would it be and why?
I've always been drawn to the Caribbean. I've been there a bunch of times, and most recently a few months ago. I'm fascinated by water, and the water there is so astoundingly beautiful and warm, the colors need to be seen to be believed. I feel like a fish who's come home! Its dreamy and wonderful to just float around in that water, watch fish, relax.
I was laid off from my marketing manager job nearly a year ago and am temping full-time (data-entry slave now) so I share your job-hunting woes. What do you find to be the most annoying thing about looking for a job?
That although employers still post help wanted ads, they seem to RARELY respond to them. If you get a "thanks but no thanks" letter, you're lucky. Mostly you hear nothing. You can practically forget about getting an interview. I'm not sure HOW they choose who to see or why. I've applied for multiple jobs that I've been quite qualified for and have never heard a thing. My step-sister is convinced that noone really gets jobs from ads anymore--that its all about networking. Good luck!
5. A close friend of mine (hi Joanie!) actually ran into (quite literally) Ben Affleck while he was on the MIT campus last summer. She muttered something about knowing the people who moved into his and Matt Damon's old apartment in Southie, he smiled, said cool and then moved on. Put yourself in her position...what would you have said to him if you had crashed into him while rounding a corner somewhere?
That's a tough one. I think he's sooo pretty! I would probably be speechless. I would try to do what she did: say something that would put us on the same level, rather than something fan-like. I'm definitely not the fawning groupie type. So I better come up with something I have in common with Ben in case I DO run into him. I want to be prepared.
6. What has been the most energizing, fulfilling gig that All About Buford has done? What made it that way?
I think our New Years shows went very well. Its about sounding good, connecting with each other as well as the audience, the actual venue (which is this case was very nice), the sound (which was decent), and how much pre-show stressors there were. I want to know that people have enjoyed themselves, that I can see them bopping around in their seats. We also did an in-house open mic feature recently where people were SO into it. Afterwards someone said "I didn't expect to laugh my ass off!". Now that's gratifying!
7. Besides his poop tricks, what other crazy things does dear Buford do?
He makes very odd noises while running around like a crazy-cat. The kind of noises Scooby and the gang would hear coming out the haunted house on the hill. I'm not sure what purpose this serves, but its amusing. Its not a meow, its not a growl. Its just...odd. Persians don't really meow anyway. He also loves to be picked up and will just sink himself onto your body in a most luxurious way. Sometimes I find him with his face pressed up against pieces of furniture or window sides (I'll include a picture), which cracks me up.
8. What was your favorite game as a child?
I LOVED skateboarding--does that count? I took my skateboard everywhere and even staged a "protest" in our school when they banned skateboards. We all stood up in class for a whole class or something. I also loved "Clue". The whole family used to play, pre-divorce, and that was fun.
9. What dream have you had that has been most impactful to you--either you have remembered the longest or it has forced you to take a change in action in some way?
I have ongoing, various dreams about living in a dorm again. I lived in a dorm in college because it was mandatory, and at the time it didn't seem so bad, but in retrospect, I must have HATED it because I have frequent dreams about being forced to live in a dorm at my current age, and I'm always panicked. I think its a response to feeling like I don't truly have a home since I don't own a house. I've lived in the same place for 3 or 4 years now but it always seems tentative since its not MY home.
10. What thing scares you the most about getting old?
Ug, LOOKING old. I don't think I look my age, but I fear getting and looking older (and I don't think I'm the plastic surgery type). Also, that the pool of men becomes smaller and smaller the older I get. As someone who's still single, this starts to get very scary when the adage "they're all gay or married" becomes a concrete reality. And, in a bigger sense, I want to make sure I've done something of VALUE so that I can look back and feel a sense of accomplishment, that I've done something that meant something to others.
11:24 AM | link | up| archives |
2.13.2002
huge massive
CONGRATULATIONS are in order to another Crystal (shhh she hates being called that) on the birth of her baby!!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!
11:14 AM | link | up| archives |
2.12.2002
stupid me
let the boy convince me to stay up and watch Cast Away on HBO and now I'm more tired than anything. Mostly because I bawled at the highly manipulative ending (the entire movie was essentially a mushy Fed-Ex commercial, I've decided) and crying wipes me out. I'm mean literally wrecks me. My eyes hurt now, I feel so fatigued and it's all I can do to get through the day. Plus I am desperately fighting Joe's cold, I think (he laughs at me when I say I'm fighting a cold...the phrase itself).
Covering phones at the reception desk during the all-company meeting (since I'm a temp). The same meeting where they will apparently pretend they aren't laying people off in this company (over 200 this year so far). They discovered I have a great voice and a pleasant personality. Sooo I am often the coverer of the front desk. I suppose that makes me all the more valuable but it's also sad to think that a year ago I was a Marketing Director somewhere and now I'm just the girl that answers phones.
At least I have a job, right?
10:43 AM | link | up| archives |
2.11.2002
i'm lazy today
so I'll take this time to give a plug for one of my favorite sites Think Attack. My buddy Dink runs it and it's an amazing collective of conversation and opinion. I'm on the staff but I've been lazy in general lately and haven't posted for awhile. Being lazy is something I have become quite good at and truthfully, I'm not happy about. :(
So I need a new literary topic to do my second Master's application on. All the information that I have is this: A critical essay written in the last four years, at least five to seven pages in length, demonstrating the applicant's ability to read and write critically about literary texts. And I have NO clue on what to write.
That makes me think about it...I don't know what I really want to DO with my MA in English. I want to take the program, more than anything, because I love to learn, I love literature and I want to expand my writing skills. But what to do with the MA? I guess teach college, which is a far off aspiration (and I'd need a doctorate for) which won't make me much money, and hell I'm 30 already. I don't want to be 45 when I finally start to feel financially stable. So it leaves me in a massive conundrum. I have come so far with my marketing career...to toss it away when I didn't hate it and when I was good at it seems silly. But I'm not so sure I liked the corporate aspect of what I had been doing. Still need to figure it out I guess. I have some ideas, maybe.
3:51 PM | link | up| archives |
2.8.2002
1.25 million people can't be
wrong. The parade that I saw on Tuesday was pretty damn amazing. Some people don't seem to understand that team comradarie and coming together to support your team are NOT socialist activities. Rush Limbaugh apparently thinks that they are...or is trying to make us think that Democrats think they are. My god.
2:54 PM | link | up| archives |
2.7.2002
ways to blow off work
by taking silly personality tests.
Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!
135737 have taken this test so far.
54261 people are more like Tigger than you.
77692 people are more like Eeyore than you.
3784 are the same charactor as you.
Except that I'm not slow so who knows about the accuracy of this quiz. I think I'm a bit of a mix between Tigger (outgoing), Pooh (loveable) and Rabbit (anal and overly rules-based). Maybe some Owl (smart!). The spot that quiz came from is SO cute if you like Pooh.
And William over at Bouillabaisse will appreciate this one:My Mormon name is Chrystallyn Aingee!
The scary thing is that it could be true. Chortle. The neighborhood where I lived in Boise was all named after some Mormon's 15 kids. The streets were things like Samson, Joshson, Daniel Street, Patrina Street, Jenilyn Ct, Jody Drive, Dallen Drive.
What's yours?
Now, if I were a pre-1985 video game character I would be:Mario.
I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. What Video Game Character Are You?
And of course, if I were a drink:
Which drink are you?
9:26 AM | link | up| archives |
2.6.2002
i stopped
reading the paper and watching the news. I avoid the kid handing out The Metro when I'm going through the subway turnstiles. I don't want to see the headlines. I don't want to hear the latest. I barely skim the news on My Yahoo, mostly only looking for unusual local stories or interesting technology changes. Lately I just find it too depressing.
News of the war mostly just baffles me. I can't figure it all out. Reading about Bush's approval ratings confuse me and sicken me at the same time. There is too much news about molester priests, angry teenagers, deadly accidents, and even stories like this that have no consequence on my life but only serve to make me feel sad. And the job market...week after week, more layoffs. Fuckedcompany used to be entertaining, but now it's just plain depressing. It IS very interesting to go there though and see proof that it's not just the dot.coms anymore, they tanked a year ago and now it's the rest of the economy following suit.
I suppose I have to take consolation though, in that at least I haven't (and won't) end up as a headline photo here.
10:48 AM | link | up| archives |
2.5.2002
my eyes were
watering this morning, the slight breeze was so cold. I am sure I look a bit like a racoon. The coldest morning of the winter thus far and I wasn't entirely prepared for it...would have worn my wool coat instead. 18 degrees out there, sun bright as anything and over a thousand frenzied people already lined up outside Government Center (which made the T and getting off the T extremely slow and backed up) for the Patriot's parade. They're all in jerseys, faces painted, noisemakers. It's amazing. I'm sort of in awe and yet sort of baffled by it. You can hear them yelling all the way inside and up where I am at.
I'll be able to see the parade from the window in our office building, thankfully, because with gusts of 24 miles an hour and the wind tunnels down in the city, it's FAR colder than 18 degrees out there. Brrrr.
9:05 AM | link | up| archives |
2.4.2002
i know
that some people take reading my blog for maintaining their end of our friendship. The thing that those people seem to forget is that I don't usually know you are reading my blog, other than the possibly obscure reference in my referrer files (I usually know when Joanie is reading, since she's at MIT, for example). It sometimes makes me wish that my friends didn't have the URL becuase it means that often they just assume that upon reading my blog that everything is A-OK, peachy keen and that they are entirely in touch with me, which is, for the most part, completely and utterly untrue--you are NOT in touch with me if you are the casual friend who only keeps in contact by reading here.
The sad thing about it is that I am pretty much resigned to just wondering about those friendships anymore. The strength of them has fallen away. I'm not leaned on, I'm not an ear to hear trials and tribulations, not a source of comforting hugs or a glad embracer of possibly happy news. I'm merely a blog, that is read, absorbed and then shelved till the next day, when maybe I'll have something interesting to say.
It's the very very bad side affect of blogging. It easily takes the human component out of communication. Joanie and I talked about this the other night. It makes it one-sided...I'm talking, people are listening, but few people are responding. And those that do, thanks...it means a lot to me that you would go beyond reading and you make contact. I'm not talking about responding in my comments, I'm talking about just plain keeping touch with ME as a person, someone you once called friend.
It's sort of how technology was supposed to ease our worklives, but now we just work harder and longer. It was also supposed to bring people closer together, to facilitate communication, but in so many ways it makes us lazy, makes us complacent, drives in wedges between people who were once close.
3:23 PM | link | up| archives |
i'm not sure i have
ever seen my boyfriend so completely and utterly gleeful before. It was louder outside than any Fourth of July or New Year's Eve...people yelling, horns honking on the street until long after midnight.
In the midst of it all, I think I learned how to cast on, Paulette. *grin*
10:20 AM | link | up| archives |
2.2.2002
i had to yell at this kid
last night. He came to the door at about 11:40 or so (and yes, we were up, but that's not the point), ringing the doorbell for the new tenant(s?) upstairs. This happened the night before as well, but at that time, they went down to get the door. Last night the doorbell, which is, for some godforsaken reason, in the hallway, kept going off. My office is above the front door (turret in front of house) and we could hear him down there, shuffling around. After 4-5 times of ringing the VERY loud doorbell (more of a buzzer than bell), he began pounding on the door. I went nuts and grabbed my bathrobe and went down there. When I opened the door, a kid of about 15 or 16 was there, maybe a little older, but not much. He seemed stoned beyond belief. He kept asking if this was the right address. I kept saying yes, but if the people were home they would have answered by now. "Well can I just bang on the door?" I was incredulous. I yelled at him, told him that they weren't home ("but the light is on," he countered) and that it was midnight and he's woken the entire house up. Finally I told him that if he rang the doorbell again or knocked on the door I'd call the cops. "You'll call the cops?" He sounded absolutely confused. I then told him to just plain GO AWAY. Which, thankfully, he did.
I came back upstairs and I was literally shaking. I actually don't do well in confrontational situations like that...I get really nervous. If it's an argument with someone I know, I start smiling really nervously...something that used to make one of my past partners really upset at me. I wasn't smiling last night, but when I got upstairs I was shaking like a leaf. Took me a good half hour to calm down.
The really shitty part about it is that I KNOW the people upstairs were home. So far we have been less than excited about them. Smokers (above and below us now...GRRR) and late night visitors...visitors at all hours of the day actually. Reasons to figure out a new place to live, methinks.
2:33 PM | link | up| archives |
2.1.2002
to Joe!!!!
Yes, that's right, the amazing, nearly super-natural, better-than-chocolate, boyfriend is turning another year wiser today! The sad part about it is that he has to work tonight. *pout* Tomorrow is all planned out though. Making a decadent cake and taking him to a cozy, special dinner. Going to take care of him in style.
Happy Birthday Joe. Don't need to write it here to let you know that I love you, but I do.
9:04 AM | link | up| archives |
