8.26.2000

personalization pranks

I discovered yet another interesting site, this one about personalization, something that is rather near and dear to my heart since I used to work with Open Sesame, one of the coolest personalization products for the Net. They were sucked up by Bowne Internet Solutions (now Immersant) and then finally found a home with Allaire. Personalization on the Net has barely barely happened...but we have come along way since Eliza, the first "bot" that came into being. Eliza could respond to your text based queries with her own strange logic.

So someone took a version of Eliza and hooked it up to an AOL chatroom...the results are hilarious.

For an interesting view of what personalization has yet to do to the Web, visit my friend Nicole, who has a lot of expertise in personalization technology and software. Then there is always our dear friend Jack, who is the personalization director at Bn.com, although on his site you might find more musical theatre than bits about personalization...


5:24 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

achille's heel

I wonder today how Achille would have done on Pole Position he were alive today? Here is the ankle update...as you can see a bit better. Still that funny half moon mark, but better.

Went and saw What Lies Beneath today. Wow. Talk about a great thriller. Michelle Pfieffer is such a goddess. The bathtub scene was one of the most suspenseful that I've seen in a long time...eerily shot, with such an amazing way that they used the lack of sound to accompany it.

And I bought oil paint...me on my continuing quest for colorful expression.

5:14 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.25.2000

bizarre body part update

The latest in my injured friend's ankle saga. Note the brilliant red color just under the ankle...and the slight bluish discoloration further down that is the beginnings of a bruise. Swelling body parts are always a bit fascinating, don't you think?


5:59 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

pain

Julie over at Inner Freedom has identified my friend's once handsome ankle: "Hello... I'm guessing the bizarre body part featured on your site today is a swollen ankle? I've had one and the picture looks pretty much like it..." Giggle...it is a bit bizarre, huh?

and I am angry at the stupid driver that pulled out in front of me six years ago...the guy in the truck that my car t-boned...lucky it wasn't jacked up or I would have been decapitated. But it feels like I was nearly sometimes. Today, at work I suddenly experienced one of my random piercing headaches...they start at the base of my neck and shoot upward past my ear toward my forehead. It feels like my head is going to split in two, quite literally. It's NOT a migraine...these headaches are muscle induced...tight muscles in my neck. I downed about six ibuprofin and went for a walk till it was bearable and now I'm complaining (lucky you!) Where is my masseuse! I'm going to go hunt down Sven...

5:22 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

caffeinated

so I have the coffee...but not quite 50 cups of coffee, where I found this really wild site (if you don't have IE 5.0 or Netscape 6 don't bother going--it's very graphic intensive), Heavy.com. It's a good place to get lost.

and the meanie boss is having me farm out simple things to a writer...because she doesn't think that I have "writing talent." So the writer is charging $1,000 for two hours worth of last minute work, which kills me. I'm in the wrong line of business, that's for sure. I could have the content written in a half hour and it would be in the scope of my job. Hey, if she wants to spend money frivolously, then well, it will come back to bite her later and at least I won't have anything to do with it.

8:57 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

guessing games

I'm feeling especially cruel (I am still sans coffee) and want you to play a guessing game. A friend took this picture and sent it to me. Can you tell me what on earth it is? *wink*

8:19 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.24.2000

muddy waters

The latest in whacked news: Amazon to Sell Cars, Sorta

Just what the hell does Amazon really do these days anyway? I mean, what kind of store are they? Someone needs to give Jeff Bezos a tip...this dot.com ecommerce thing is a bit like painting...you can blend colors together and sometimes they create wonderful things. But when you put too much into the mix, it just ends up muddy...

10:32 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

cathartic

just finished with my oil painting class...it is truly the first hobby that I have found that I can become completely and entirely immersed in. in saying that, I mean that for the space of time where I am painting, the only thing I am thinking of is painting. I don't think about work, I don't think about other people, I don't have stress, I don't have worry, I am truthfully thinking of nothing more than mixing paint, placing paint, swirling and smoothing paint, light and perspective, layering, shadows, color on my skin. I'm getting better. Third class and I already feel significantly more confident...I have a modicum of talent...enough that if I am practicing I should eventually be able to paint something decent enough to give to someone besides my biased parents a gift.

and the evening is the perfect summer evening...crickets in blissful symphony, a sweet breeze...what a perfect night it would have been to walk on the Charles. but it's just me and i'm exhausted and have little splots of paint on me...my legs, my arms, probably my face for all I know...

9:40 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

i need

to buy a bike.
to call red envelope and get them to get my brother's watch back. (did that...the kind people returned it and so I had it sent again...Chase will be pleased).

1:47 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

blitching about sex

Jag said all the things that I didn't quite get to saying when talking about sex early on in relationships and basically about casual sex in general. And she said it far more eloquently than I probably would have.

Funny thing to me is the way that friends often view you as a result of what they might consider indiscretions. I know that if I did ever have sex (damn lucky man that is) on the first date, there would be very few people (three to be exact) that I could feel comfortable telling that to...and when talking to the rest of my friends, if I mention that I had a great date the night before I can see the unspoken question in their eye...the wondering did you do it, question. And if the answer was yes, then suddenly you look a little different in their eyes. So much for being liberated women.

She's right...it's all about communication and understanding. I couldn't imagine giving myself to someone that I didn't really respect and who I didn't believe couldn't offer me the same respect back. I've been wrong before, but I have belief in myself and in the guy when those lines are crossed. And YES...you have to be responsible for your actions and be able to suffer any consequences you walk into. If you are lucky, the results are good...and there is new communication as Pay and I talked about below. If not, then you move on and accept it. Besides, if you did do the deed on the first date and the guy doesn't stick around then either a. chemistry was way wrong b. he wasn't worth much in the first place. Lesson learned.

Sounds so cut and dry doesn't it? Actually it is. If you can't grab the bulls by the horns, then don't be running in the first place.

12:09 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

fate

so they're deciding my fate this morning. sorta that is. at work...trying to get me away from the meanie boss. we'll see. I have a feeling that it might be an internal research position for three months, helping define and package our services. but then what? where will I go, what will I do? one of my coworkers thinks I should just be looking elsewhere...in his words, "why be a second-tier person here when you could go anywhere else and be a director?"

the construction guys next door are drilling through the wall into the building again...and my poor head hurts just a little.

So I have this little i-zone camera...the kind that does the mini-sticker polaroid pictures...and why is it that when I really want to have a picture, it doesn't come out? The people are blurry or they look like Casper the Friendly Ghost(which, btw, was a favorite cartoon...up there with The Flintstones)! And why is it that the ones that other people take with it come out looking pretty nifty? Except that the little pictures might go through the laundry if you don't first take them out of the pocket in which you tucked them away.

I can kick anyone's ass at the sit down video car games. I was a rally car driver in a past life, you know. *smirk*

Oh, and my dear friend Greg and I lamented across the miles on instant message this morning...how much we both miss Seattle and things like The Stranger. Check out Savage Love...but wait, doesn't Dan Savage syndicate that column now? Still, it used to be a Seattle phenomenon only. And the personals rock! I have a lamp in my apartment that I collaged with a few issues of the Stranger, ages ago...sigh. Why does China have to be so far away?


9:59 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.23.2000

sex again

So I went to lunch today with one of my favorite people, Payman. We went down to the local steak house...of which we are both a good 30-40 years younger than everyone in the joint. Plus we were both dressed in black so we had the hellion look down pat. We talked about a myriad of things, but of course, in the end, it turned to sex. The conversation at hand this time was one night stands...or rather not even one night stands, but on the implications of sleeping with someone for the first time. How society views women as sluts for sleeping with someone too soon. How men sometimes get the warped response of losing a bit of respect for the woman for sleeping with them on the first date (because in the back of their mind they have the same slut icon stamped on their brain and how could they have a relationship or a friendship with someone like that, heaven forbid). His view on things is that when you sleep with someone for the first time, you get to know them in a way that most of their friends and loved ones don't even ever see...that level of intimacy is revealing and it can break down barriers. I have to agree...people become very vulnerable in that state, both men (yeah, yeah, you all think you're so macho, but we know the truth) and women. You see a side of them and it reveals a lot about them. We decided that the wonderful thing about sleeping with someone for the first time should be so that you can get to know them well enough to be able to open up brand new dialogue. How did he say it? Fucking to get to the talking. It made so much sense the way he said it (too bad the man is married (with an amazingly wonderful wife to boot)). I think that a lot of the perspective comes with age, maturity, or actually more so with a comfortability about the self and the ability to respect the people that you choose to be with...when you get past the point of one night stands, when you can just appreciate people for who they are as a person. Then again, I think it's rare that you find people that have that respect. Sex is like money...it carries with it all sorts of emotional baggage and it tends to cloud people's judgement.

I'm not being very clear, am I? Well to be clear for all you anonymous readers out there, I'm not into one night stands...but at the same time, I can understand chemistry works in funny ways...maybe the sex is amazing and the rest isn't. The reverse is true too. I once dated a man years ago when I was in college who I had amazing chemistry with. The sparks FLEW whenever we were around each other. Arousal became our middle names. However, when we finally moved to explore that chemical attraction, we found that it just wasn't so great...not sure, why, but it just wasn't...it's as if the chemistry disappeared when certain parts of our bodies got together. But even still, it didn't affect the overall chemistry...we still had that spark between us...it didn't make us uncomfortable to be around each other. It didn't make the wanting to see each other less desirable. I saw him several years later during my married years at the airport in Boise one Thanksgiving...the chemistry was still there. You could feel it radiating around us as we stood, his parents waiting and mine waiting nearby. It was the strangest thing. But it really has made me reflect on what chemistry is...it's physical and sensual, but it's an elusive beast, not easily defined and it differs from person to person and situation.

Then between Payman and I it broke down into Sex and the City talk, grin.

2:47 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.22.2000

drugs make kids kill!

I was going to go do some grocery shopping tonight and when I went out to my car I found this flyer on the windshield. All the cars on the sidestreets had them. So now I understand why we have so much violence among our kids! We're all making them take drugs that turn them into psychopaths! God that's such massive bullshit. #1...how did the kids get on prescription meds in the first place? what sort of environment and upbringing have they had? #2 where did they get the guns? #3 you can't begin to tell me that every incident of child violence is linked to a prescription drug...that's incidental. There is a reason that they put the kids on the drugs anyway...they were probably MORE psycho before they got the drugs. It just fries me...it all goes back to education and upbringing and the things we teach our children.

ahhh...I just noticed at the bottom...the Church of Scientology...hmm.

A few months back I was a bit mired in some online rpg game for the space of a couple months. I met a couple that I used to play with (purely game related...get your mind out of the gutter) and after awhile, the wife gave me their number to call so we could get to talk in rl. I called...she was nice enough (it was a bit difficult to handle the deep southern Alabama backwater accent) but her six year old son was in the room, trying to get her attention. Rather than just telling the kid, no honey...I'm on the phone, just wait...she started cursing at him, screaming at the "little fucker" to go play somewhere else. She called him the worst names and my heart just went out to that kid. I just can't imagine growing up in an environment like that. I'd be picking up a gun at the age of 12 too. I stopped playing with the couple...it just turned my stomach way too much.

As I get older, I am more and more thankful for the wonderful, supportive and loving environment my parents gave me, even during the times when we were growing up that money was tight and tension was strained. They certainly aren't the most perfect parents, but they gave the three of us a safe haven during the times of our lives when we needed it most, when it would shape us and create the people we are today. *note to self, call home soon. :-)

9:09 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

garbage hopping

So our webmaster assistant pointed out the window today at something highly unusual. A man, in a suit and tie, standing in a garbage dumpster, jumping up and down. He was trying to crush the garbage down so he could close and lock the lid. We stood there, fascinated. His tie was flapping, white shirt a glare in the sun, and his expensive Italian leather shoes crushing down the sacks and bits of paper and god knows what else. I walk by that dumpster on my way to the bank and have to hold my nose. So I was imagining what it would be like to sit in a meeting with this stinky dumpster jumping man afterward...oh keep me from hurling. I don't want to think about what rotting stink and germs are all over his shoes, his pantlegs...ick. Kevin, our webmaster guy, made some smart remark about how it's where the cat doctor in the building next door puts all the kitty corpses when they're put to sleep. Needless to say, he got pelted by miscellaneous desk items that we could grab to throw at him.

I'm still in a sort of weird shock, not believing that I saw it. Where was my camera?

12:55 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

profitable porn

fascinating article from one of the best Internet stastical sites out there, Nua.com: Porn: not what it used to be . One bit is rather interesting: "'Sex' used to be the most-searched-for term on the Internet, according to Searchterms.com. Now, 'sex' is relegated to third position, after 'travel' and 'mp3'. The rest of the top-ten search terms are fairly innocuous: 'cars', 'Britney Spears,' 'health,' 'autos,' 'careers,' 'apartments,' and 'hotmail.' Innocuous that is, except maybe 'Britney Spears.' " Eww...Britney Spears...make my skin crawl...


11:45 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

higher learning

things I have discovered in the last 24 hours:
*cocktail straws make great bracelets if you do just the right things with them
*i learned about the chicken ranch in nevada
*my stupid POP mail doesn't always send things when it is supposed to, sigh sigh sigh. my best friend is all over my case because I said I would send something (and I did!) and he didn't get it. Sooo I imagine that there might be other people with the same sort of problems. I'm getting mail, so that's not the problem, I think it's the leaving of the email. grrrrr.
*that my cat, Romeo, has his own email address!!! What an amazingly savvy cat! How does he do it? He can seduce us to give him belly love and emails! I'm sure that dear Romeo would delight in such electronic touching.

8:51 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.21.2000

rant

Now WHO thought of putting all the cutesy sayings on paper towels? I just went to get one and I realized, for the first time, 3/4 of the way into the roll, that it said, "Home is where love surrounds you." Oh my god, how amazingly innane. I just stood there and looked at it and realized that I'm the only one in my home and it's me and my cat and while he loves me in his own aloof fashion, there is no surrounding of it. And what about the broken homes, the abused kids, the dirty politicians, the depressed, the sad and lonely...what a way to put a damper on their day! Just remind them of what they don't have! Jeesh. Chinese fortune sayings would be much more appropriate. *note to self: buy WHITE towels next time.

4:58 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

stubborn @#)$&($#

My family, I swear... What is it with my relatives? On both sides? If there is some sort of health concern going on, I am always the last to know. It's always been like that with my grandparents on both sides...I'd find out after surgery that they were in the hospital. And now, my father. I had to find out from sister that things were worrisome...and when I called my mom she wondered how I knew about it, as if I wasn't supposed to know. Sigh.

My father is the most stubborn man on the planet about some things. And this time, he has made me really crazy. Some new symptoms are showing up that might indicate that the prostate cancer he's had might not be gone after all. The radiation treatment he took last year seemed to have eliminated it, but now he's got blood in his urine and they have determined it's not kidney stones, so now...who knows. So he's got tests scheduled for the 8th and 9th of SEPTEMBER. What is up with that? I called and told him to make them move it up. As Michael said quite plainly when I told him, "That's such complete and utter crap." So when I asked my father to have the doctor move it up, he just said no and tried to change the subject. Sigh. I suppose he just doesn't want to know that it might be coming back. I don't blame him. I can't imagine how it must feel. I know how *I* feel when I think about it. My father has been both the greatest source of annoyance and influence and inspiration in my life. It makes me so crazy though, that he won't go and find out, that he won't work to try and see if they can take care of it sooner than when it might be too late. He says it isn't serious...how can that not be serious???? blood in the urine is always damn serious I thought. He just grunted at me and changed the subject...asking how I am doing at work and if I've managed to get away from the meanie boss.

Sigh. Hardheaded bastard. If I weren't 3,000 miles away I'd be dragging him to the doctor myself.


3:19 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

sans caffeine

Things I should keep in mind:
* a. get to sleep earlier or b. sleep in later
* do not drive through Davis square on the way home tonight unless I really like being stuck in construction traffic

Today's Forgotten English word: Spinning-House: The place in Cambridge (England) where street-walkers are locked up, if found out after a certain time at night. ~JC Hotten's Slang Dictionary, 1878 Apparently they used to make the "incorrigible and lewd" women spin flax and wool...this, my friends, is where the unfavorable connotation of the word spinster comes from.


8:35 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

goddesses

My dear darling Niki (you CAN hit me for that, btw) says she is the Persephone to my Venus. I think she's right. She is the sly one, I can vouch for that...

Send some good vibes in her direction for her sickly kitty, Clyde. I used to take care of Clyde and Bonnie when Niki and John would go out of town...Bonnie would hide but Clyde and I would always have wonderful, sweet conversations.

This darling Venus is off to sleep.


12:19 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

8.20.2000

going earless

today i went to visit Van Gogh. the problem is, Van Gogh didn't want me to be dropping by. Sold out! So I wandered the collections and realized that I have a whole new outlook on art since I started this oil class...I am in awe of what some of those artists accomplished. wow. I realize that the impressionists are a lot more interesting to me than they used to be.

Tomorrow is back to the meanie boss, sigh. SIGH. I just really don't even want to look at her. I'm dreading it. DREADING it.

and back to emode...chortle. I'm a bona fide flirt. I think I knew that too.

Emode's got the lowdown. Read below for your detailed test results.
Playful Intentions
It seems like you are someone who appreciates the fun of flirting from a position of safety, whether the security of a relationship or just through physical distance. Because you do not appear to flirt all the time, you seem to have a healthy respect for the potential consequences of the game. There is nothing wrong with innocent flirting, as long as everyone has the information they need to make informed decisions. So, if you remain as respectful and conscious of the feelings of others as you appear to be, then what's wrong with flirting a little and enjoying yourself?

Serious Intentions
There are some times when flirting can be a risky activity - namely, when you are interested in someone and it is not just about playing a game, but about pursuing them for a relationship. You appear to be someone who takes risks in this area. You are probably willing to go out on a limb to let someone know that you are interested in him or her. This approach has the advantage of directness. It can also open you up for rejection, but if you are prepared to face the consequences, then there should be no hesitation. It takes a lot of courage to actively flirt with someone in whom you have a serious interest, so kudos to you for being out there.

Physical and Direct
Being physical and direct seems to be something that you are at least mildly comfortable with. There are many ways to express one's interest and attraction to someone, and you seem to be relatively comfortable going the physical route. It appears, however, that you also hold back a little. This hesitation could imply that you don't always feel comfortable getting into someone else's space, or that you only do it when you feel that it is appropriate and non-threatening. This tendency can be good because it means your intentions won't often be misunderstood.

Nonphysical and Subtle
You sure know how to play that flirting game!! There are some people who prefer the subtle, non-physical route to attracting the attention they desire from others, and you seem to be a master of such social intricacies. One of the best things about this approach is how it allows you to pursue what you want without being blatant. And you can play innocent and coy if something you did gets taken out of context or misunderstood. You are probably someone who likes to play the subtler end of the game of flirting, and it seems that you know the rules pretty well.

9:00 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]