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September 22, 2003

Winds of Change

Fall has arrived. The tree in the yard next door is bright orange. The dining room is decked out in fall finery, sugar pumpkins and bright red-orange daisies adorning the table. It's beautiful during the day but chilly at night. People are beginning to take their boats in from the harbor.

Everything is changing.

1. My worklife is drastically different. To sum up a lot of what I haven't been saying, I have been, in not so many words, demoted, as a result of my new boss feeling threatened by me. My employees no longer report to me. My workload has decreased to the point where I might have about 3 hours worth a week to do. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone above her (VPs, CEO, etc.) although I used to speak to all of those people when I reported into the President. When I speak on conference calls, I'm cut off and overridden. I have been reduced to pure execution in all tasks. My input is not appreciated or expected. One of my former employees has backstabbed me in a scramble to get the attention of the new boss. It's ok. I'm not angry--sad, but not angry. She's young and foolish and just doesn't want to lose her job. I've been there before. But it all breaks down to karma, you see. I know that the new boss doesn't want her on the payroll (she still technically reports to another department) because she doesn't want to have to pay her more since her position has changed, but in the meantime before anyone figures that out, the new boss has overloaded her with more work than she can handle. At one point, I might have told her how she is being used, but there is no reason to do so anymore.

All this stuff at my work has happened for a reason. A good reason, in my opinion. I'm not supposed to be here any longer. I have done some GREAT things at this job. I have another CEO to add to my stable of references. But I have done all that I can here. I will either be fully pushed out or I will leave when the time is right. The wind has blown in and now I must ride with it to where it takes me.

2. The wind has brought me to new possibilities on my horizon. We'll see how they pan out. And before you ask, no, the market isn't picking up, in my opinion. I'm just doing something very innovative and in-your-face to get noticed. It's working. It's pretty amazing to be in a place where I have control when just a few weeks ago, I thought I had none.

3. Flying in on a brisk, clear breeze is a new Web project that I'll be unveiling in the next few months. I'm VERY excited about this. One of my oldest and dearest friends, Greg, is partnering with me and that in itself is wonderful--being able to collaborate with him.

4. I'm collaborating with my husband on a project as well--something wine related--a test, but it may prove lucrative if we can pull it off. Joe is the first person that I have ever been with that I could see working with as well--we have so many complementary strengths and one of my joys these last few weeks is the talks we've had, talking about how we can each achieve our dreams. It's an amazing feeling. I believe.

5. School is AWESOME! #3 is actually borne of a school project that I'm doing for a class, but truthfully, the class is just the impetus to do something that I've been toying with doing for a few years now...it's something that I'm passionate about and I can live my art--something that I think I've always felt guilty about. I've had a backwards thought...if I can't make money at it, well it's a hobby. Wrong attitude. I need to work this passion as a passion and if I live it and believe it, the money will show up.

My second class is actually the research class for my thesis. It's a LOT of work, but I'm equally excited about it. I'm researching how to take a particular group problem solving method and adapt it to individual writers in order to facilitate greater organization and enhanced creativity. If it works, I think my thesis will be a book about the method, which I'll write next semester. If that's the case, I will write the book...then utilize the method to write the ACTUAL book that I want to write, thus proving its possibility, then I'll publish the method. :)

6. Friends, family...all flying in, flying around, taking new precedence in my life. We spend so much time running around, not enjoying the people who we call friends and I'm working to change that. Montreal is around the corner and I'll be seeing Greg for the first time in nearly 8 or 9 years. My parents are visiting in October for a week. I've been talking with my father on the phone nearly 3 times a week, which is really wonderful. I'm trying to find time to spend with friends more often...to talk and see them. What is important in life are the people that surround us and we so often forget them.

7. Health. This should really be #1 but it isn't a prioritized list really. They all fill in needed gaps in my well-being. I am becoming healthier. I am committed to finding ways to eat better, to get more exercise into my life, and to treat my body as sacred--it's the most important thing I have and I need to take care of it so I can fulfill all the other wonderful things that are waiting on the other end of my breeze.

It's not a bad thing, I don't think, to be riding on Mary Poppins' coattails.

Posted by crystallyn at September 22, 2003 11:27 AM

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Sorry to hear about the troubles going on at work. It's good to see you keeping such a positive attitude about it all.

Love the new fall picture you have up... it's my favorite season. :)

Posted by: Legenae at September 22, 2003 03:33 PM

You go girl! I wish you the best in whatever happens next.

Posted by: niki at September 22, 2003 03:53 PM

I love you!

Fall is my favourite too. I miss great big forests of trees in full fall grandeur.

Posted by: Shanna at September 23, 2003 04:34 AM

Knowing that we are not our jobs and that our families, friends and passions will fill us with more than a paycheck ever could is a wonderful lesson.

Posted by: Heidi at September 23, 2003 11:27 AM

I agree- but only the job pays the bills.

Posted by: Shanna at September 25, 2003 06:58 PM