9.30.2000

dressing the bride

is one of those cheesy sorts of games that you play at bridal showers. Well here is my dear friend Joanie, decked out in a toilet paper wedding dress (it's actually strapless but she's wearing a white shirt beneath). She looked great with the headband veil...the picture just doesn't do it justice. Joanie won the best wedding dress contest. Funny how at bridal and baby showers there is always the little games and strange rituals (Heidi managed to make it through the presents without breaking a bow or ribbon...they predict one child for each time you do break one). Joanie, by the way, has a very creative bent...I think she should go into business creating bow bouquets...the one she created for Heidi out of the ribbons and bows to use for practice at the rehearsal was magnificent.

5:04 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

and now... a word from our sponsor...


this is jack... I am writing in place of crystal... well, I went cruising for boston boyz tonight on aol, but only found ugly and fat men... I suppose I will have to return to nyc where the beautiful people live. Of course, Crystal is more beauty than any male can take, gay or straight. She introduced me to this blogger thing, which is so cool. Why didn't I think of that? I could have written this program... well, I suppose it isn't about me... no, wait a minute... those of you who have followed Crystal's daily updates know that it is, indeed, all about me... Ah well. For those cubers reading this: I love you all. It was so nice seeing you tonight. xoxoxoxoxo... jack

2:21 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.29.2000

houseguests and margaritas

going out with the cubers (see my Me/Superstars section) tonight for pitchers of margaritas at our favorite watering hole. Turns out that Jack is coming in from New York to get his teeth cleaned of all things...and so he's hooking up with us as well...and then crashing out with me because his friend Stephen is getting sick (grin...and mostly I think it's because I'm closer to the airport). It IS all about Jack, you know. Now if I could only get the man to update his Web site. Guess that's what happens when you are a barnes&noble.com big wig and off-broadway musical producer extraordinaire...

Funny how this has turned into the week of houseguests...first Michael, now Jack and next week Michael again I think. I guess it means the apartment is always clean. It also means I'm putting the toilet lid down a lot. Men! Well tomorrow will be the girly thing...heading to a bridal shower and dragging Joanie along with me.

Oh and I just discovered this latest tidbit of news:

LOS ANGELES (Billboard) - Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox have come together to co-finance and co-produce a feature film inspired by the 1960s sci-fi romp "Barbarella" and have hired John August to script the project for producers Laura Ziskin, Drew Barrymore and Nancy Juvonen. Barrymore has long been attached to star in the title role. The new "Barbarella" is said not to be a remake of the 1968 film staring Jane Fonda which was loosely based on Jean Claude Forest's French comic book series. The new version, described as combining the world of sci-fi with Woody Allen sex comedies of the 1970s, will be based on Forest's "Le Semble Lune" (The Moon Like) and "Le Miroir au Tempetes" (The Mirror of Storms) - two later books in the "Barbarella" series. The story line will follow the adventures of a naive woman (Barrymore) who uncovers the secret behind her tiny planet's good fortune and finds herself leading a revolution.

Woooohoooo! Should be excellent. I really love and admire Drew. And besides, it's Barbarella! You know that's where Duran Duran got their name, now, don't you?

4:28 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

disturbing

My aunt sent me this picture, and after some random looking on the Net for something only sort of related, I discovered that the picture is by John McColgan and it's of the Bitterroot National Forest, MT, taken on 8/6/2000. That's one thing that the East doesn't really experience, the forest fires that often devastate miles and miles of forest and sometimes even urban areas. This picture is so beautiful in its danger...those deer know that something isn't right and yet the idea of fire is so foreign to them. Haunting.

When I was in college, I dated a guy named Jared Ball (think, my first name is Crystal...ewww). He took me on the strangest date that I have ever had...to Lucky Peak Reservoir in Boise....which was EMPTY. Now this is no small reservoir...it's 12 miles long and 258 feet deep. I'm no math major but that's millions of gallons of water. So Jared took me to Lucky Peak for a picnic. We drove to the bottom of the reservoir (some people had created a new dirt road which would wash away in the spring). There was a forest fire ravaging the picnic ground (usually only accessible by boat) on the opposite side of the reservoir. We sat in the back of his hatchback and had our picnic and watched the fire burning down the bathrooms. Romantic? In a very odd sort of way, it was...it was just as the picture above, haunting, beautiful and yet strangely disturbing. This world is filled with natural forces that men still struggle to contain and fire is still one of them.

And so, go tell Scott Happy Birthday and visit Spoonfed.net. You old man you.

11:14 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.28.2000

sensuality

I've been a big fan of Diane Ackerman for years now...in addition to some wonderful nonfiction, she has written some really beautiful, lush poetry. I finally managed to pick up a copy of her Natural History of the Senses. The book is a wonderful expose of sense in general. The first chapter is dedicated to that of smell. She talks about what an elusive beast that our sense of smell is...it is mostly indescribeable (how many times have you described a smell in relation to something obscure or to another smell), it is elusive, emotional, impactful. She manages to pack a myriad of facts into the pages, things that often you might have already known but not really thought much about. For example, how much of our food relies more on smell than taste. Have you ever described taste as a smell? I mean, I have before..."the candy tasted much like how violets smell," sort of thing. She mentions that some chemists say that wine is merely a tasteless liquid with a deep fragrance. It is true...wine is such a heady sort of thing and the fragrance is always a major part of the experience.

When I was young, I used to spend summers at my grandparents house in Burley, ID. They lived on a cliff above the Snake River. The sunsets every single night were breathtaking. Some of the most amazing sunsets I have ever seen were from their beautiful green backyard lawn. In the Me/Pictoral section of my site you can see a bit of the landscape...lush and wild sagebrush behind me and my freaky new waver look in 1989. What you can't see in that picture is that I was standing next to a Russian Olive tree. In the summer they have the most amazing fragrance. I haven't smelled the trees since I moved to the East, but often driving in Washington state you would go by a field or a house with a tree and instantly I would be transported back to my grandparents house...where I spent many very happy summers. It is a comforting smell and yet it is a very sweet sensual aroma that I can appreciate much more as an adult, much like jasmine or really aphrodisiacal sorts of smells.

Speaking of sensual, I am loving the new Madonna album, Music,. I have more and more admiration for that woman as time goes on. I watched a VH-1 special on her tonight...her most memorable television moments...from Letterman to SNL to her controversial Rock the Vote ads in 1990 (where she was draped in the American flag and a red bikini). She has such amazing endurance, creative spirit and a savvy business sense that I greatly admire. Plus her music just gets better and better and better...

8:54 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

The F-Word

so maybe you've seen this, maybe not. My friend Michele has her own folder in my mailbox...she is the goddess of humor...always discovering the most silly funny things. And so she sent me this list today...my favorite is number 7:

Top Ten Times in History...when using the "F" word was appropriate...

10) "What the FUCK was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
9) "Where did all these FUCKing Indians come from?" - Custer
8) "Any FUCKing idiot could understand that." - Einstein
7) "It does SO FUCKing look like her!" - Picasso
6) "How the FUCK did you work that out?" - Pythagoras
5) "You want WHAT on the FUCKing ceiling?" - Michaelangelo
4) "I don't suppose it's gonna FUCKing rain." - Joan of Arc
3) "Scattered FUCKing showers...my ass!" - Noah
2) "I need this parade like I need a FUCKing hole in my head!" - JFK
1) "Aw, c'mon, who the FUCK is going to find out?" - Bill Clinton

1:14 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.27.2000

absolutely brilliant

Sylloge has put together the most amazing new site design. Talk about some savvy creative thinking. Very cool. It's a rip-off of the popular search engine, Google.

4:16 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

to bitch or not to bitch

Got the new domain host...but go figure...they can't make the .ftp work. And they tell me they are the #1 rated by PC Magazine and all that. Will I be able to copy the site over before the transfer occurs? We'll see.

Add to that that my poetess@crystallyn.com address is only working sporadically. Stupid hosting service says that email will be down for the next 72 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try me at crystallyn@nerve.com .

But the good news is that I have, in my hot little hands, the offer letter from this new company. Director of Marketing, reports in to the CEO. I just sign on the dotted line and start in two weeks. Woooohoooo! It's in the North End, which will be a culinary change for me...mmmmm I love Italian food.

I also managed to get the bridal shower gift for my friend Heidi who is getting hitched next month. I'm not a big fan of shopping really. Give me an online store any day and that will suit me. Still, there is something sort of fun about the cute little department store bags (not the crappy plastic kind) that you get to carry around. Sort of freaks me out that Christmas is right around the corner. Still it will be wonderful to be downtown during the holiday season...I love the atmosphere of a big city during the fall and the winter. Boston is a city so full of charm, especially when there is a slight chill in the air, brilliant sun and colorful leaves on the ground. Before I moved here, I think I had always pictured it being fall. I love the energy that is created as summer seeps away.

4:00 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

so

no Othello last night with Michael. Mostly just hung out and watched cable and I made him tea because being a bloody Englishman he would die without tea. He's off at the hospital now and I am faced with another quiet day to myself, but broken up by my going downtown in the early afternoon to iron out the details of my new job.

This not working thing is great but is starting to get to me. I've asked Niki how she does it. She moved with her husband to Wisconsin where she has been in a pseudo retirement/freelance mode. I'm starting to get so stir crazy...feeling guilty that I'm not out accomplishing something. I think she often feels that as well...she reads a lot, she blogs, she has been fixing up their gorgeous house and she does freelance work on the side. Sometimes when we chat online though I can feel her frustration and directly identify with it. I can't ever imagine being a housewife, bound to the home cooking and cleaning. Ick. Not for me. Get me out! Have me interact! Have me create!

I did paint a bit yesterday...painting number six or so. I'm not happy with it at all...but I'm not sure what to do with it. I'm letting it dry and I'll come back to it I think. Back to it when I have some idea of what the hell I am doing. I did get Donnie's Daniel Smith catalog in the mail though...all those luscious paints...for me half the fun is the texture, the feel of them. Perhaps I should just finger paint.

I'm way too much of a sensual creature I think. It gets me in trouble. In museums I want to touch everything. With people I want to touch and be touched. I'm a sucker for visually, aurally and verbally stunning things. The world is far more hands off than I would like it to be.

9:18 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.26.2000

switching

to the new domain host soon. Maybe today if I can figure it all out.

It's a wonderful grey cloudy day. I love days like this. They remind me of Seattle. It's funny though, how Boston just seems dreary when it rains. Seattle never felt dreary to me...there was always life in the rain, some wild energy that I absorbed and took in. I do here as well, but it is different somehow.

So no bicycling today...but painting instead. And I'll get to see Michael tonight (god I'm seeing a lot of you these days...lucky for you I have some tolerance for your presence, smile. Maybe I'll go to the toy store today and buy Othello so I can trounce you).

One of the things that has drastically changed my life in the last few years is learning about a typically fatal disease and how it can affect the lives of people I care about. Michael has two children with cystic fibrosis, a very devastating genetic disorder that affects the respiratory, digestive and reproductive systems. His daughter, who is in her early twenties, is in some of the most advanced stages of the disease and is going through the long, emotional process of waiting for a lung donor. Both of his kids go into the hospital from time to time (that's why I'm seeing Michael tonight...his daughter is in again so he'll see her during the day and is going to come by and grace my futon with his presence overnight) to receive an IV...more antibiotics to treat the disease, which is characterized by coughing, low lung capacity, digestive problems and often, asthma. The trouble comes when a CF patient becomes immune to all the known antibiotics to treat the disease. When his daughter was born, they told Michael she wouldn't make it to age three. When she was three, her life expectancy had increased to ten or something of that nature. When she was ten, it was in her teens. She's 23 now. His son is ten and is a rambunctious fun kid...who thankfully hasn't spent that much time dealing with IVs yet. For many years, his daughter was going in for a two-three week IV nearly every three months. Not a fun way to grow up. Thank god for the advances of modern medicine though...that keep producing new treatments and new drugs and have greatly prolonged the lives of many CF patients. Just twenty years ago a CF patient was not expected to live past childhood. Now there are some people who are living into their fifties and sixties. Some, but not enough.

What has happened though is that I have a whole new outlook on life and children and what it means to hope. Michael has lived most of his adult life knowing his children could die (or in his very fatalistic moments WILL die) before he does. A very scary thing for a parent. Over the years we have talked a lot about it. I often don't understand his entirely bleak outlook on CF...but then again, I think I do. I myself have a tendency to expect the worst, that way it won't hurt so much if whatever the situation is bad. Michael has been living for years steeling himself against a tragedy and the idea of hope is a much more foreign concept to him. And yet, it means that he has a relationship with his children that I KNOW most kids never get to have with their parents. I have often watched him at play with his son and felt a strange jealousy...jealous that while my parents love me and I have a good relationship with them, that bond that he has managed to forge with his son and daughter is different. He lives his life with his kids never knowing how long he has with them. It means he doesn't take them for granted, it means he spends a great deal of time with them, he works to understand and support them without smothering them or being overprotective. He wants them to experience and enjoy life and everything he does is to facilitate that. I admire the courage that he and his children have. I look at the tremendous adversity that he has in his life and yet, he has more happiness in his children and in those relationships than any parent I have ever met. There is a lot of good that has come with this bad. A lot of good that has to be examined...but truth be told, I can't imagine what sort of person HE would be if there wasn't CF in his life. He has patience, understanding, a very caring sensitive nature and an ability to enjoy the moment in a way that most people I know will never have. And I am very different too. I appreciate the fragility of life in a way that I'm unsure if I would have if I hadn't grown to really love his son and treasure the friendship that we have.

As I get older I understand that fragility even more. I just learned that a distant aunt that I am only recently getting to know, has liver cancer. I have a friend that has testicular cancer and he can no longer walk...he is in the stages of a stem cell transplant...scary shit. My father has prostate cancer. Another aunt is undergoing chemo for breast cancer. All very terrifying things. The first person close to me to die was my grandmother, earlier this year. I was lucky, to make it to nearly 30 before losing someone close. I find that I have amazing admiration for families with sick children, for people who have lost loved ones to the ravages of a terrible illness. I have more admiration for those families who find the good within those things...whose lives have been changed in good ways because of something so difficult and tragic...who can celebrate the lives that their loved ones had rather than lament their own loss.

Okay...its getting deep here and I am sans coffee and shower and so that is where I am off to...

10:31 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.25.2000

small town

since I moved here, I don't think I've ever really ran into people I knew just randomly on the street. I've been in Boston for three years and just tonight, on the way to my class, I ran into Joanie. I like the thought of running into people I know. So we chatted for fifteen minutes...she was coming out of a lecture and I was near the place where my class is (see below). We talked about the woes of dating, made arrangements for the wedding shower that we're going to this weekend (i'm driving) and all those good things. I wish I could run into more people when I'm out and about...in weird random places...chuckle.

I GOT THE JOB, by the way. I go in on Wednesday to iron out the details.

I'll be blogging my results from tonights environmental biography class in my me/historical section. Be on the lookout later tonight. My instructor has a speech impediment which takes great patience to adjust to. I was struck by what amazing courage that he has to choose a profession that REQUIRES him to speak...that of a teacher. Serious courage. I dated a guy in college that stuttered pretty badly. It was genetic...his younger sister stuttered too. He was a handsome guy and he lived on Whidby Island and collected Jeeps. I think I was the second girl he ever kissed. I didn't quite have my way with him, but well, lets just say he suddenly understood a few things he never did until after me. I don't recall that he stuttered in all situations.

Oh I'm devilish, huh?

10:24 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

hate mail

well, my mail server that is. I hate it. New domain host being looked into but for now send me notes at crystallyn@nerve.com...my mail at crystallyn.com is down again. Crazy.

Have a class in environmental biography that I'm taking for the next eight mondays. Should be interesting for my biography project. This class focuses on how to hone in on the places that have been important in your life. I found a postcard of the building in Harvard where I am taking the class. The house used to be owned and occupied by Longfellow's "Village Blacksmith" and adjoins the site of the Smithy. It still looks just like this even today. It's the same building where I had my painting class. Places do become very important in my life...that's why I'm so excited about this class. I find that I still have dreams about the house where I grew up in as a child. It is a happy place, with many good memories. I think I escape there in dreams when I am feeling especially stressed or worried.

3:01 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

commiserating

with ex-coworkers is the plan. Meeting up with friends for lunch. The general consensus is that corporate politics are rapidly becoming the norm. vedddy intahhhresting...

and the offer is almost mine! They called me and want me to have the job...but the CEO wants to extend the offer personally, so I'm waiting to see...wooohoooo!

10:46 AM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

9.24.2000

no more wenches for you

It was a postcard weekend (I'll post more over the next few days). I found this one, a very cheap one to acquire, but I think the value was very underrated. If the dealer only knew that the Pirates of the Carribean at Disneyland has been completely changed by Disney to take away the idea of women being wenches being chased by pirates with wild sexual appetites. Apparently the attraction has been changed to reflect the women carrying piles of food and instead, the pirates are now hungry for material substance. Which makes this card a lot more valuable nowadays. I would be curious to know if this scene is still there at all. I would imagine not.

I used to work in New Orleans Square as a merchandise hostess. This meant that I worked in the retail shops, the hat shop, the kitchen shop, the pirate shop or one of the many carts. One of the really interesting things about New Orleans Square is the art gallery that resides above the Pirates of the Carribean (btw...the restaraunt in the pirates has the BEST monte cristo sandwiches). The art gallery is located where the original farmhouse was that the land was purchased from to build the park. The farmhouse was in the center of an orange grove...only one tree still stands now, and it is still in New Orleans Square. You'll never hear anyone talk about this unless you ask directly. If you go to Disneyland, head up to the art gallery and ask one of the employees about the ghost that lives in the art gallery. She moves pictures, opens and closes doors and is sometimes visible even to guests. She isn't malicious, just a little mischievious. She can often be seen in the little garden terrace inside the gallery. When I worked there eight years ago, there was a woman with beautiful white hair that worked in the gallery and had for the last twenty years. She will swear up and down that the ghost is there. You just need to ask.

11:59 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]

fucking ford winstar

I hate those damn cars. I hate how I end up driving behind every single one in Massachusetts when I come back from the Cape. I hate how they all drive in the left lane because no one taught them how to fucking drive. I hate how wide they are so you can't see around them. I hate all the cheery colors that they come in. I will never ever own a minifuckingvan as long as I live. Ever.

8:58 PM | link | up| archives | comments [ ]