« August 2003 | Main | October 2003 »
September 29, 2003
here we go again
laid off once more, yes, once more. But it's all good. Decent severance package, no more horrid meanie boss, no more dealing with uncaring greedy executive management, no more dealing with wondering what is going on. They laid off over 30 people, mostly directors and middle management. Easy way to add $ back to the bottom line. At the expense of quality, customer service and the integrity of the organization.
It was the best job I ever had, so there is some sadness that is residual. But not a lot...that job ended in August when the new company merged in and my former boss resigned.
Besides, there are new opportunities around the corner. Three of them on my plate at the time being, one of which was waiting on my voicemail when I arrived home.
And Montreal was WONDERFUL! More about that later...
Posted by crystallyn at 05:09 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
September 24, 2003
teaser...
Posted by crystallyn at 09:17 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
September 23, 2003
the things you learn--after the fact
I just spent an evening (sick as a dog--terrible cough deep in my chest, I might add) visiting with a very dear friend that I worked with back in the height of the dot.com era. The web consulting firm that we were working at (and with the brand that I built from scratch!) was beginning to boom. After a year and a half, everything tanked.
My friend told me tonight about the deal that should have happened, but didn't. The company was offered a buyout of $680,000,000--this when the company (and yes, Niki, this would have been when you were there) was probably less than 50 people. The then CEO (an amazing guy, honestly, despite this decision), decided to hold out for more. The deal never happened.
I would have been long since retired. If only. If only.
I'm still in shock by this knowledge!
Posted by crystallyn at 09:12 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
September 22, 2003
Winds of Change
Fall has arrived. The tree in the yard next door is bright orange. The dining room is decked out in fall finery, sugar pumpkins and bright red-orange daisies adorning the table. It's beautiful during the day but chilly at night. People are beginning to take their boats in from the harbor.
Everything is changing. 
1. My worklife is drastically different. To sum up a lot of what I haven't been saying, I have been, in not so many words, demoted, as a result of my new boss feeling threatened by me. My employees no longer report to me. My workload has decreased to the point where I might have about 3 hours worth a week to do. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone above her (VPs, CEO, etc.) although I used to speak to all of those people when I reported into the President. When I speak on conference calls, I'm cut off and overridden. I have been reduced to pure execution in all tasks. My input is not appreciated or expected. One of my former employees has backstabbed me in a scramble to get the attention of the new boss. It's ok. I'm not angry--sad, but not angry. She's young and foolish and just doesn't want to lose her job. I've been there before. But it all breaks down to karma, you see. I know that the new boss doesn't want her on the payroll (she still technically reports to another department) because she doesn't want to have to pay her more since her position has changed, but in the meantime before anyone figures that out, the new boss has overloaded her with more work than she can handle. At one point, I might have told her how she is being used, but there is no reason to do so anymore.
All this stuff at my work has happened for a reason. A good reason, in my opinion. I'm not supposed to be here any longer. I have done some GREAT things at this job. I have another CEO to add to my stable of references. But I have done all that I can here. I will either be fully pushed out or I will leave when the time is right. The wind has blown in and now I must ride with it to where it takes me.
2. The wind has brought me to new possibilities on my horizon. We'll see how they pan out. And before you ask, no, the market isn't picking up, in my opinion. I'm just doing something very innovative and in-your-face to get noticed. It's working. It's pretty amazing to be in a place where I have control when just a few weeks ago, I thought I had none.
3. Flying in on a brisk, clear breeze is a new Web project that I'll be unveiling in the next few months. I'm VERY excited about this. One of my oldest and dearest friends, Greg, is partnering with me and that in itself is wonderful--being able to collaborate with him.
4. I'm collaborating with my husband on a project as well--something wine related--a test, but it may prove lucrative if we can pull it off. Joe is the first person that I have ever been with that I could see working with as well--we have so many complementary strengths and one of my joys these last few weeks is the talks we've had, talking about how we can each achieve our dreams. It's an amazing feeling. I believe.
5. School is AWESOME! #3 is actually borne of a school project that I'm doing for a class, but truthfully, the class is just the impetus to do something that I've been toying with doing for a few years now...it's something that I'm passionate about and I can live my art--something that I think I've always felt guilty about. I've had a backwards thought...if I can't make money at it, well it's a hobby. Wrong attitude. I need to work this passion as a passion and if I live it and believe it, the money will show up.
My second class is actually the research class for my thesis. It's a LOT of work, but I'm equally excited about it. I'm researching how to take a particular group problem solving method and adapt it to individual writers in order to facilitate greater organization and enhanced creativity. If it works, I think my thesis will be a book about the method, which I'll write next semester. If that's the case, I will write the book...then utilize the method to write the ACTUAL book that I want to write, thus proving its possibility, then I'll publish the method. :)
6. Friends, family...all flying in, flying around, taking new precedence in my life. We spend so much time running around, not enjoying the people who we call friends and I'm working to change that. Montreal is around the corner and I'll be seeing Greg for the first time in nearly 8 or 9 years. My parents are visiting in October for a week. I've been talking with my father on the phone nearly 3 times a week, which is really wonderful. I'm trying to find time to spend with friends more often...to talk and see them. What is important in life are the people that surround us and we so often forget them.
7. Health. This should really be #1 but it isn't a prioritized list really. They all fill in needed gaps in my well-being. I am becoming healthier. I am committed to finding ways to eat better, to get more exercise into my life, and to treat my body as sacred--it's the most important thing I have and I need to take care of it so I can fulfill all the other wonderful things that are waiting on the other end of my breeze.
It's not a bad thing, I don't think, to be riding on Mary Poppins' coattails.
Posted by crystallyn at 11:27 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
September 19, 2003
vulgarity
has a long history...in fact, this plate probably made by Italian Renaissance ceramicist Francesco Urbini in the 16th century makes it very clear. The head is framed by a garland carrying the inscription: Ogni homo me guarda come fosse una testa de cazi (Every man looks at me as if I were a dickhead)...
Posted by crystallyn at 11:05 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
September 16, 2003
my list of
things I don't understand:
1. our freaking weather ~ hot-cold-hot-humid-ick.
2. mean people.
3. why in HELL people aren't paying attention to this.
4. why I can never find shoes that feel 100% comfortable.
5. rotten service at car dealerships.
6. how kitties can sleep for 20 hours a day.
7. why I yawn when thirsty and when cold.
8. why the leaves are changing so fast. :(
9. why I didn't buy vanilla futures!!!!!
Posted by crystallyn at 06:22 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
September 09, 2003
and so I have
To here too. But only because I'm blogging about how true it is. Me...I could never give up the wonder of real books and real libraries and true research and facts. The rest of the world...is starting to forget a little, I agree.
Posted by crystallyn at 09:23 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
September 08, 2003
i'm SO
excited about school. So many ideas, so many new opportunities jumping into my lap. Life has become so busy, so incredible. A new marcom job is around the corner--I feel it, so I just need to be patient. In the meantime, I have so much to focus on. I have two very cool projects (but a lot of work) for school, one of which I will probably unveil in November or December--or will talk more about if I need help. The other is a big research project on a topic that is pretty intriguing and I could see it turning into a sort of self-help book for writers. We'll see.
I'm working with Joe on an idea we have on the side to help people entertain...(more on that later too) I have Paulette booked for an astrology party that she doesn't even know about yet (but now she does! hehe) Joe and I are getting ready for a trip to Montreal later this month and for my parents to come visit in October. I've set my friend AJ up with orders for mirrors (GORGEOUS gifts so get your order in now for Xmas!! The pictures don't begin to do the final piece justice!).
I'm reading the new Sara Douglass (one of my new favorite authors) book, Hades Daughter, along with Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, which I haven't yet read--I wrote about the Fountainhead for a college scholarship ages ago but Atlas Shrugged has been on my to-read-list for a long while. Plus I have scads of great books for school (one of which is the Real Frank Zappa Story!) to read. I'm in heaven.
Posted by crystallyn at 10:25 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 04, 2003
when it rains, it pours
into my car that is. I went out a little bit ago to get my headset for a conference call I have later today and discovered that the driver's window was open. I turned the car on and tried to roll it up...nada. It wasn't catching.
Nobody broke into the car--it appears that the window just decided to fall.
Odd, huh? One errand I wasn't planning on running today--to take my car in to get fixed. We have a towel hanging in the window at the moment. It looks like it must have happened within the last 1/2 hour to an hour because while things were wet, there isn't a lot of water that has puddled up and we have had torrential rain this morning.
Thank god for warranties.
Posted by crystallyn at 01:49 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
woohooo back to school!
yes, I was one of those children who couldn't wait for summer to end and to be able to go back to school. I love getting new school items--notebooks, pens, bags, books, star-shaped post-it notes...
My class isn't until 7PM tonight and I'm already anxious to go! I just love the anticipation, meeting new people, taking notes, reading assignments, writing super long papers. I know, masochist, that's what you are thinking.
I just love how I feel when I'm in the thick of research, when I'm writing and creating and learning. Maybe someday I'll go for my Ph.D. after all...teaching college would make me happy happy happy. Then again, I couldn't afford to pay off my student loans if I did that, sigh. Talk about a conundrum.
Guess I'll need to keep working on that plan to become independently wealthy...
Posted by crystallyn at 10:39 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
September 02, 2003
you know those types
of friends that just manage to make you smile and realize that you shouldn't take life so seriously? I just got off the phone with my friend Payman, who I talk to maybe once every 4 months or so, and who always has a way of twisting my worries around into nothingness.
I was telling him about my situation and how when I started work here they didn't have any market presence and now, after a year, they do--"You just pulled a Crystal, that's all," he says, knowing exactly what I did without me even needing to say. "You know you are fucking amazing, don't you? And if you don't, then you need to." Payman is very free flowing with his expletives--he cracks me up.
But he also makes me believe him--he talks with such conviction, and it's not flattery, but honest conviction. He's always been a champion of mine--he knows that what I do isn't easy, but it seems easy and he knows how many people think they understand marketing, but don't. He tells me these things in the most off-hand way, like of course I must know I'm amazing.
He makes me realize that my downsizing into a tiny box is really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. While right now I will continue to work with integrity, someone else will eventually find me, realize what I can do to kick ass for their company and will hire me. My track record is solid--very solid. I've made money for businesses time and time again. I have two CEOs who will give me references. I have a sturdy portfolio.
And besides, Payman is right.
I am fucking amazing.
Posted by crystallyn at 07:32 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack